Oscar

I suppose that since last week was Sesame Street's anniversary, it's appropriate that I spent the weekend feeling like Oscar the grouch. Sunday I had planned to go to a book tour event for Cake Wrecks (one of my favorite blogs (http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/). They were giving out wristbands (so said the website) starting at 10. Since I like to get my workout out of the way before I settle down to have fun for the day I decided to get up early and run with the Framingham Running Club. They have a group run every Sunday at 8:30, and I can't usually motivate myself to be there so early on a weekend, despite the fact that I'm starved for running partners and good trail runs (they provide both).

Despite the fact that it was an amazing beautiful day (sunny, warm, Indian summer), I was not happy. I felt like people were crowding me (I even snapped at one guy), and then 5 minutes later felt like people were ignoring me. I was annoyed when the leader decided to take us on an extra mile loop. Instead of kicking my way through the leaves, I grumbled at them for hiding potentially treacherous rocks. As I wheezed my way uphill, I wanted to be going down. As my ankles rolls sliding down hills, I wanted to be going up. Nothing was making me happy.

So when I got back in my car and saw a phone full of text messages from my friends who I was supposed to meet (they had gone early to get bracelets and found out that the bookstore had changed their plans), I was unexplainable angry. Somehow I felt like they were blaming me? Instead of meeting them for breakfast as planned, I told them to go without me. Instead of a big plate of chocolate chip pancakes at a table with friends, I had cold cereal on my couch alone. Then I went to Cake Wrecks and sat in the corner and stewed. Stupid I know. But I just couldn't get myself out of the trashcan of doom.

Two Different Earrings

It's one of those weeks where I just don't feel like I have it together. Nothing major has gone wrong, but there have been quite a few instances where I realized that what I thought was happening, wasn't. Like my run this morning. I was on the trail thinking I was cruising along nicely, until I looked at my garmin. 13:10 pace. No wonder it felt so easy. Then, I was conducting an interview with a potential hiree and reached up to feel my earring. It didn't feel like the earrings I thought I was wearing. I touched the other ear. A different earring. It's just one of those weeks.....

Rain

This morning I had a great run in the rain. I really pushed myself for the first 4.5 miles (38 minutes) and then did 6 hill repeats for a total of 6.6 miles in 56 minutes. I'm struggling to unravel the mystery of why some days I want to push it like this, and others I just want to trot along at a comfortable pace. You would think that on a cold, rainy day I wouldn't feel great. Maybe it's something about overcoming my desire to stay inside and elliptical instead, and facing the elements. Once I'm out there I love the feeling of rain on my skin. Maybe it's just that I didn't go to the gym last night. We had friends over for dinner and pumpkin carving instead. I always think that more will get me fitter and skinnier. Maybe that just makes me tired. Whatever the cause was, I'll accept it gratefully. I never mind a day when I have the drive to conquer to world.

sole food

There are certain things that fuel my soul, which in turn fuels my soles and my running. On Columbus day weekend I did a trail run in Maine. The leaves were bright, the sun was shining, the air smelled of earth and of the sea, and there were people I loved on the trails with me. I finished the run and just sat on the shore looking out at the ocean.

Then Friday morning I woke up expecting a run in the cold rain. Instead it was snowing. Most people were not happy about snow in October, but I love snow. There is something about running with snowflakes on your lashes that makes you smile.

It takes something huge and beautiful, or unexpected, to make me stop and remember to breathe and appreciate what a gift it is to be able to run.

Still Alive

I know I haven't posted in FOREVER. I won't make excuses, I won't try to catch up. I'll just go from here. Maybe it's all the chocolate covered espresso beans I had today that are finally motivated. Maybe I'm delirious. I'm at a LIVE for work, and I've slept about 6 hours in the past 3 days. And you know what..... I'm FINE.

Sometimes you just need something to kick you out of a rut. I spend so much time planning and worrying. I waste so much time sleeping. I miss out on things because I'm afraid I might be tired, or rushed the next day. Saturday I skipped a concert I spent $50 on a ticket for because I had to get up early the next morning and didn't want to get home late. My roomies went without me and had a blast.

From here I'm going straight to meet my team for the Reach the Beach Relay.... a 36 hour relay across NH. And I'm going to enjoy it! I'm not going to stay in the van alone sleeping, just because I have a LIVE the next week too and don't want to be tired.

I can sleep when I'm dead.

back on the road

Monday I ran 8 miles in 1:10 and today I ran 6.67 in 1:00. What's great about both of those runs? First, they are both longer than 5 miles, and second they are both under a sub 10 mile. Finally, I'm back.

What changed? Well first last week I was on a business trip in Arkansas. It was hot, and my hotel was on a busy road. That mean no outdoor running. I used it as an opportunity to do what I never do at home, do something different. One day I did speed work on an indoor track. I did 4 x 800, 4 x 400 and 6 x 200, the next day I used this funky treadmill type thing that went up to a super high incline. I did a pre-programmed extreme hill workout. The last day I had to be at the airport very early, so I tried to see how fast I could do a 5k on the treadmill. 23:22. By doing shorter, different workouts I was really able to amp up the intensity.

Then, over the weekend I took 2 days off from running and biked instead. Monday morning I was still in Maine (what a treat!), so I sat down for 10 minutes with my Mom with a cup of coffee and hunk of bread instead of heading straight out the door as usual. The 8 miles around the island felt like a breeze. Even with the extremely hilly terrain, I was still flying. I don't know if it was my happiness to be running by the ocean away from traffic, or the fact that I ate something before going but I felt great. Same thing this morning, my legs felt pretty dead (I've been doing a lot of squats and leg work with weights) but every time I looked down at my Garmin I was at a 9:30 or better pace. We'll see if I can keep it up once the humidity comes back!

this is why

So the Trek was cold and rainy and fantastic. All night at Sunday River I listened to the rain beating down (and to the 8 other people in the little dorm room snoring and tossing and turning) and thought about how horrible of a ride it was going to be. It would be wet and I'd be riding without my friend. But in the morning, I sat and ate my power bar and sipped coffee and chatted with strangers and started to get excited. I met up with Anne and found Ken, and we took off. I was drenched by the bottom of the first hill. But from that point on, I couldn't get any wetter so I just rode. I cranked up the 3 mile hill, and then just bombed down. My heart was pumping, the rain was pelting me, dirt was flying up into my face and I was laughing. The second 30 miles went by in a blur. I felt so good, I just kept pushing and pushing.
Saturday morning my legs felt pretty dead and I was afraid I'd pushed too hard. But after 15 or so miles, I got into it and felt good again. I rode alone and kept a comfortable pace. I did gorge a little on pizza and ice cream at the end, but I deserved it right? There was a great band playing, Sally and the Smelts. It was nice to just sit and sip a beer and listen. We ate an early dinner and then just sat and talked for a couple hours. I felt very comfortable with everyone the whole weekend. I'm fine being alone, but I never felt that I had to be alone.
Sunday we were up early again, and I started with Anne and Kim. I lost them fairly quickly, but ended up riding with a couple for a long time. I forget how brutal the third day is. The hills are relentless and the wind was against us. The 3 of us took turns pulling the other 2. I'm not sure how much we were really drafting, I think it was mostly mental, just having company. Ken came up as I passed the last rest stop, and we pushed it to the end. Like the first day, something came over me and I just was on fire. Coming down the final 2 miles, with people lining the streets cheering and screaming I was peddling as fast as I could. It was over too soon.
Every year I think about not riding because I hate raising the money. But every year I am so glad I do. Everyone riding is just so supportive and into making it a fun experience. It's hard, but not impossibly so. It's about doing what you can do, and having fun doing it.

Rainy forcast

I'm off to Maine this afternoon for the Trek Across Maine, which is a 3 day ride that I've done for the past 4 years. It's a lot of fun, but this year I'm not that excited. First, my friend Quincy that I always ride with just moved to Texas so she won't be riding this year. Her mom is still riding, and I know a few other people riding as well, but well they're all older. It's not the same as Quincy. We usually pass the time making up stupid songs and telling stories. Secondly, the forecast is for rain all 3 days. Yuck. 6-7 hours a day in the cold rain doesn't sound fun. I'm trying to be positive. It's 3 days off from running, which I need because my heel is still hurting a lot. And it's 3 days away from work!

Birthday ramblings

So today is the big day- the 25th birthday. It's a lot less exciting than marathon day. Particularly because today is a Monday and I have all day meetings. However I got 2 great birthday presents. First it was sunny on Saturday. It rained all of last week and Saturday's forcast wasn't good. All I wanted was a day at the beach. In the end I got it. We did get stuck in Boston for about an hour and half because of the parade, but made it to the beach by 1:30 and stayed until 5. I dragged 2 of my friends on a walk, which they claimed was too long (it was maybe a mile) and would have done more (walking, swimming, frisbee) but everyone else just wanted to lay in the sun. So I did too, and maybe that's good for me to stop once in awhile. Then we went to a great litte restaurant right on the water and sat on the patio and had beer and dinner, followed by ice cream cake at home.
Sunday, I went to my aunt's where I got present number 2- a garmin 405. This I had directly requested as my only big present from all my relatives. I love it! I was so antsy waiting for it to charge last night so I could play with it. I took it on a 9 mile run this morning. After 3 months without my nike i-pod +, it's so nice to have that feedback. It was a little discouraging too though because I wasn't going very fast! Still I felt good on my run this morning. I definately didn't have the empty tank issue I had last week. At my aunt's yesterday I had dark chocolate brownies, then I met my Dad for dinner at an Italian place that has the BEST rolls and dipping sauce. I had 3 rolls drenched in the olive oil sauce and then could only manage a bite of my BLT pizza. I recovered enough on the car ride home to eat 5 of the chocolate chip cookies my sister made. I refuse to feel guilty it's my Birthday!

A pain in the...... heel

So for the past couple weeks I've been feeling this twinge in my heels, especially my left heel that has slowly gotten worse. I'm pretty sure it's plantar fasciitis, which I've never had before. I've got the typical symptoms- it's worse when I wake up in the morning (which is of course when I run) or after a prolonged period of sitting (which is what I do at work all day). It's not unbearable, so I'm doing what I always do, running anyway. I'm always reluctant to stop running, especially since I'm actually seeing some progress with the weight-loss, I'm down to an even 140 pounds. But it's making my runs not much fun, and I'm starting to worry that I may be doing permanent damage.

biking=great, running not so great

I had a fantastic weekend of activity. Saturday I rode with my usual biking buddy to a homemade ice cream place and farm. It was a rolling 22 miles there and the sun came out half-way. It was nice to have slept in, had coffee and breakfast, and then be out in the air. I had an amazing small coffee heath yogurt ( I had to restrain myself from getting more), and then we ended up meeting up with another woman on the ride home. It was nice to have some new company and she really pushed our pace. Heather and I have gotten pretty complacent and just chug along at 13-14 miles an hour. Saturday though we averaged 15-16. I felt so great, that I decided to bike to get my hair cut after I got home (sorry again to the poor hairdresser who had to deal with my sweaty head), bringing my total for the day to 55 miles. Saturday night we went out to the bars, and I realized yet again how over that scene I am. It's not worth the money or the calories (both the alcohol, and the pizza that I inevitably want at the end of the night). So Sunday I slept in and then went out on my own for about 25 miles on the bike. I felt great again and would have done longer, but I tried a new route and ended up back home too soon. In the afternoon I took my kayak to the lake and had a nice long paddle. The real work-out though is getting it up the huge hill and back onto my car at the end. By that point I was sunburned, tired, and starving. So I had an early dinner (this very interesting grilled watermelon with goat cheese and basalmic that I saw on TV), and then fell asleep around 8:30. Super early even for me.
Then, this morning I suffered through yet another run. It was a combination of tired legs, the humidity, and the fact I hadn't eaten in like 14 hours. And, I planned a route that was shorter than I thought, so I was back in about an hour instead of the 80 minutes I wanted to do. It's hard to make myself run circles on the side streets, when I have seen my house. On the plus side, my weight was down when I weighed myself this morning.

back on track

So I'm doing much better with the eating this week. I've been making healthy lunches and dinners, and stopping at reasonable portions. Best of all, I haven't been snacking all night. So my conscience feels much better. However physically, I'm hungry, and I feel like my running is suffering. I run first thing in the morning, literally right after I roll out of bed. Sneakers on, contacts in, i-pod in hand, and I'm out the door. The smaller dinner and the lack of night time snacking though, means I have nothing in the tank for these morning runs. Wednesday I tried to do hill repeats. They were slow painful shuffles for the first 6, and I ended up walking half-way up the last hill. I don't think there's a good solution. I need to loose this weight, and I'm not going to get up earlier to eat and then let it settle before I run. Besides, if I ate breakfast at 6 am I would be ready for lunch by 10. Ideas?

And now what??

I haven't been writing, because I've fallen into the same pit that everyone falls into after a marathon. I don't know what to do with myself. Physicially I felt great! I forced myself to take 1 day off completely, and then stuck to the elliptical and swimming for a week. This week I was back at it full time:

Monday: 7 mile run, pilates
Tuesday: Kickboxing in the am, then punk rope at night (a ton of fun!)
Wednesday: 6 mile run (hills)
Thurs: 20 mins bike, 40 mins elliptical, hour and half of cardio kickboxing (with like a million squats and lunges
Fri: 50 minute run with 8 minute pick-ups.

I was exhausted this morning, but I think that's just from the million lunges last night. And I'm exhuasted in general, which i think is fair. I haven't slept past 7:30 am in months. In the past month I've been to Dubai, ran a marathon, and moved.

And now I'm done with it all and feeling a little lost. I do have the trek across Maine in June, but I'm not looking forward to it as much as usualy because Quincy isn't doing it. And I'm having a lot of trouble fund raising. Any one want to pledge me?

http://www.mrsnv.com/evt/e01/part.jsp?rid=895389&id=2078&acct=8010308676

feeling good

So I'm almost at the 48 hour post marathon mark and I feel shockingly good. Enough soreness to remind me that I did something, but nothing terrible. I was more sore after the half, and 20 miler in all honesty. Yesterday I forced myself to take the day off, which for me is huge. Today I did 45 easy minutes on the elliptical. I felt fine. I'm really tired today but I think that's just because I didn't sleep well. Too much green tea with my sushi, and then noise in the hotel.
I'm finding it hard to grasp what I did. A marathon. I ran a marathon. The same girl who the first day of track in Junior High though she was going to die during the half mile warm-up. I was wearing these horrible un-lined wind pants, which were plastered to my legs. I was a gymnast- I could launch myself into the air, flip around multiple times, and land on my feet with no problem. Yet the simple act of putting one foot in front of the other seemed impossible. By the end of season I could manage the warm-up with no problem, and decided to run a mile a day during the off season to stay in shape. That mile turned into 3, and then 6, and then 13. Each time I did a new distance I thought that was the farthest I'd ever go, and then I went farther. And now 26.2...... will that be it?

26 done now for the 25!

Hey, guess what I did today? I ran a marathon! I have never been so nervous before a race in my life. I was awake at 5 am yesterday and today, and could barely choke down a few sips of coffee and some dry cereal. I was glad it was an 8 am start.
The start was pretty disorganized: the half and full runners were all together, and not sorted by pace. I was too near the front for my liking, but everyone went out slowly. I almost started crying when the gun went out. This is something I've been thinking about for 5 years, and I've run enough to know how hard it would be.
It was hard, but not horrible. The course was hillier than I expected, but not as hilly as Maine so I was okay. It wasn't quite as senic as I expected either. A lot of industial warehouse areas. My biggest complaint is that the food and water stops weren't spaced properly. The only goo was at 8.5 and 21, so I carried my own, but there was no water in the 6-7, and 13-14 mile ranges when I wanted to take it. So I took my first gel at 7.5, the second at 14.5, and the last at 21. It was perfect, I never hit the wall and I never felt overly queasy.
The whether was decent too. It was fairly sunny the first hour, and then clouded over. I went from being a little hot to a little cool, but never too much so. I brought my i-pod, which I'm very glad for. I wasn't running with anyone and it did help distract me. I ran with another woman my age for about 4 miles in the middle and it was nice to have someone to talk with.
I didn't lock myself into a plan. I drank when I wanted too, and then the last 6 let myself walk a minute every mile, plus one hill. I was ready to be done, but I wasn't dying, and I really kicked the past .2
Then I had my space blanket, but I couldn't find my Mom, so I borrowed a cell phone and called her. She was back at the 25 mile mark freaking out because I hadn't gone by and she thought I was hurt. I got 3 bottles of water, which I drank right away, and streched while I waited for her. Then, I had a heavenly massage because my neck was killing me. I was still moving pretty well, so we walked over to the mall for a frozen yogurt which was the only thing I could stomach. Then my fantastic Mom treated me to a pedicure, which actually hurt a lot because I have a huge blood blister at the tip of my big toe. But my feet look a heck of a lot better.
I'm on the bed at my hotel now, trying to muster the energy to get some ice. It might not happen.
So the 26 is done. Now it's time to move into the new house and celebrate the 25th birthday.