So this probably isn't my deepest or more spiritual source of inspiration ever, but hey whatever works, right? I was watching an episode of Private Practice the other night, and it ended with Adison talking to her psychiatrist and saying that she had a realization that life is never going to be easy. Life is hard and complicated. But that realizing this is actually liberating because she realized that she could finally stop waiting for it to get easy. She could stop waiting.
Um hello, this is me exactly. I am always waiting for what is next, for when it might be better than what I have now. Especially running. I am always waiting for the run to feel easier, for the run to be over.
Saturday I ended up doing my last long training run for Rome, a 23 miler. I was actually planning to do it later this week or next weekend to give myself more time to recover from the half, but when I looked at the calender I realized there was no other day where I'd have 4 spare hours to run (plus 2 to lay on the couch after). So Saturday it was. And with my lesson in mind I vowed to focus on the moment. To enjoy the warm sunny day. To enjoy that I was running by the ocean. Just take it one mile a time.
It worked, maybe too well. I set my Garmin for 23 miles and didn't let myself look at my watch until I got the triple beep meaning goal accomplished. Which meant I kept running even when my knee started to feel not right. It's 2 days later and it still feels not right. It's not a pain exactly, it feels more like my knee is filled with cement and doesn't want to bend or straighten. Oops.
I am trying to be good to myself. I actually took yesterday off. I know, shocking for me. I went to yoga and did some easy walking around Portland (the walk was mostly because the wait for brunch was so long that we wanted to kill time). And today, I am up at Sugarloaf which is my favorite ski mountain EVER, and I didn't downhill ski. Sob. But I know that it puts a ton of pressure and torque on my knee. I did a couple hours of easy cross country, which is no impact. And know I am icing it and shivering. But I am not going to worry (yet at least, still have 3 weeks till Rome).